tinepiges taiwan

…..from now on, I’ll be bloggin in english……..I think…
Well, I guess for the most part at least.

I’ve got some new friends, that might be reading along now - and they can’t read danish. Yet. Right, gals? You already know one and very strong word: NEJ (no)!

So I’m starting up again. Blogging.

Why - well, my friend Michele have been nagging me to do it, plus I’ve been “witness” to some stuff that’s “worth” writing about

Today for instance…

Picking up Victor from Kindergarten. He is happy to see us (Mila is with me in the double stroller) and we take a little walk around the block getting some dinner, desert and zhen zu hong cha (victor’s pick). Crossing the intersection, green light and waiting for the next green light to get to “our side”.

CRASH!!!! I see a scooter sliding alone in the intersection. Accident - scooter hit by a car and the driver of the scooter (woman) was on the ground. I tried to turn the stroller away, so kids wouldn’t see. Didn’t really succeed at that, because this stroller is a heavy machinery. A EXTREME contruction (watching too much discovery, ya say!?). Anyway, the green light hits and people (pedestrians, scooters, cars) starts moving and driving like there is nothing to take notice of.
Mind you, the woman is still right in the middle of the intersection and the car too.
Right after I heard the big crash and saw the accident I noticed NOBODY tried to help. All just stared, did nothing but look at the poor woman. The only person who tried to do something was the car driver, who started collecting the woman’s things (I guess he was too shocked to talk to her).

Well, green light. My direction. I couldn’t walk by and simple do nothing, so I stepped right in the middle of everything and scream from the top of my lungs: BACK UP, GET AWAY. STOP!!!! (I might have cursed one or two times, but anyway, it helped!!). I reached for the woman and asked if she was ok. My chinese is bad, so I asked with few chinese words and then the universal words: “You ok”?.
I tried pull  her up and she told me it hurt (hao tong) but it didn’t look like anything was broken and there were no blood, so I pulled (gently of course) her up, took an arm under hers and made her walk to the sidewalk. Then another lady came and talked to her and two boys (students) helped the car-driver moving the scooter.

We left, I figured there wasn’t anything more I could do, since I didn’t see the actual accident itself and I couldn’t really explain myself to the police, if they happen to be non-english-speaking or understanding cops.

We then when to buy some nice cool tea to “calm the nerves”. The kids handled it well, I think. They sat in the stroller and didn’t cry or look scared. I kissed them both and talked about the accident with Victor. Here is his version: Car. Scooter. BOOM. Mama help lady Of course I reminded him that she was ok (he don’t have to know, if she isn’t) and that you always have to look for cars, lights etc when crossing the street. Yes, he told me and then - where is the tea, already!!!

This is my first partly witness to an accident in Taiwan, which I’m both happy and surprised for, because there IS a lot of accidents here, especially with scooters getting knocked a few meters along the road. I’ve heard stories about really nasty and bad accidents where again nobody seem to be willing to help out. And talking to hub about this he tells that people are afraid to get the blame for the accident, that the police wont trust your words. Still…it’s not like a pedestrian are going to get blamed for a car-scooter accident (where is my LOCO-face icon!!!).

I had to do something. And I did, wished hub was with me, then he/we could have done more.

You know when you are Taiwanese/been in Taiwan too long when: 

you can’t even be bothered to wake up for an earthquake

You can order the entire McDonald’s menu in Chinese.

Someone doesn’t stare at you and you wonder why.

You look both ways before crossing the sidewalk.

You turn left from the right lane, no matter how many lanes there are.

20 degrees feels cold.

You stop conjugating verbs.

You speak fluent Chinglish.

You drive on the shoulder to pass traffic.

Firecrackers and garbage trucks don’t wake you up.

You stop and look both ways before driving through a red light.

You don’t stop or look both ways before driving through a red light.

The shortest distance between two points involves going through an alley.

Foreigners smell funny.

You point out foreigners and stare at them.

You own at least one mosquito tennis raquet.

You know which turn signal should be on when driving the wrong way down a one-way street.

You prefer squatting to sitting (including toilets).

You can haggle with the best of them.

You don’t want to sit near the foreigners on the bus or in the restaurant.

Your English has gone to hell.

Foreign women look big and fat; foreign men look the same, but also hairy.

Wearing shoes in a house makes you really uncomfortable.

You shower in the evening.

You deflect compliments in the presence of foreign friends.

You fight to pay the bill.

You can tell what someone wants from what they don’t say.

Your kids speak better Chinese than you do.

Someone wishes you a Happy Easter and you remember it’s easter…

You no longer sweat.

You know where to buy clothes that fit you.

You’d take boiled peanuts over dry-roasted any day.

You feel embarassed for *other* foreigners.

You casually pick out and discard cockroach parts in your “biandang” (purchased lunchbox).

“Meibanfa” (there is nothing that can be done) or “bukenung” are perfectly acceptable answers to your inquiries at government offices.

You play black jack until 4 a.m. with your in-laws on holidays.

You stop caring about tones in your Mandarin.

You’ve taught another foreigner something in Chinese.

You’ve learned something in Chinese from another foreigner.

When someone back home asks you how things are going in “Thailand,” you are offended but don’t say anything.

You know just enough Chinese to embarrass someone who’s talking about you.

When you’ve been on vacation, you’re happy to return.

You wish desperately you could vote in local elections.

Your kid is half Chinese, I mean, Taiwanese.

Dry weather irritates your skin.

You feel like a kid in a candy store at Costco.

You learn more about the news from what it doesn’t say.

You have a favorite pair of flip-flops.

You think the best gifts are practical.

You think the best gift is money.

You’ve bought the same thing a dozen times … and will buy a new one when this one breaks.

You’re amazed at how low-tech everything is back home.

You bake in a toaster oven.

You can de-bone a piece of chicken in your mouth within seconds.

You can shell shrimp in your mouth within seconds.

You speak English in hotels to get better service.

You cut off gravel trucks and those blue Varica trucks.

You practice s-curves on the freeway at 120.

You cover your mouth when you pick your teeth.

Over half of your software is pirated.

You don’t buy anything unless you can get a discount.

You accept business cards with both hands, and inspect both sides without reading them.

You carry an umbrella with you for much of the year.

You try to tell people back home about Taiwan, and are angry when they look bored.

You smile when you’re embarrassed or angry.

Er det så skidt eller godt, hvis jeg allerede kan sætte hak ved en del af dem!?!?!

…tofu…

Føj for den lede! Chou Dofu, som det så hedder på kinesisk, er tofu som har været lagret i et par dage i væske, som bare stinker helt ind i helvede! No shit, det lugter af…shit…

Så et madprogram forleden på en taiwanesisk tv-kanal, hvor denne her mad-/rejsereporter var taget ud for at opleve de forskellige Chou Dofu der var i taipei området (hmmm….et par udvalgte steder, måske på hele øen, men i hvert fald her på Taiwan).
Tofu kan fås i mange varianter; hårdt, blødt, sejt, stegt, kogt, indbagt osv osv.
I programmet var fokus så på de Chou (stinkende) slags.  Jeg var næsten ved at kaste op ved at se programmet. Ikke fordi billederne var ulækre eller farlige, men simpelthen fordi jeg nærmest kunne lugte det gennem tv’et!
Har man først lugtet til en slem omgang af Chou Dofu, så sidder det altså i een.
Det stinker af lort, rent ud sagt. Hvis man går forbi en gadesælger, så ville man ved første kontakt, måske tro at det var pga dårlig kloaksystem (hvilket jo er normalt her) under boden, men sniffer man så nærmere opdager man at det rent faktisk er MAD og noget, som folk elsker (?????????????????????????????????!!???) at spise her. Næsten hvert gadehjørne sælger det, nattemarkederne er FYLDT med det og der findes eftertragtede steder, som sælger en speciel type af det.

Grunden til at jeg fik et dårligt ved at se dette program - ej, ok - ikke OVERDREVET dårlig, men fik faktisk lidt kvalme og måtte bede husbonden om at skrue væk (og tilbage igen. Ville jo have det hele med når det kom til stykket). Nå, men grunden var at jeg finder ud af, at der er omkring 10 niveauer af væskens lugt. Dvs. 10 forskellige typer ildelugtende grader, du kan få dit tofu på…

Vil du turde vælge den højeste??? Ikke mig - ikke efter at have set madreporteren nærmest lave opkastlyde og holde sig for munden!!! Og dette er en mand, som jo mere eller mindre er opvokset med denne lugt overalt.

 Puha…nej…
Jeg har jo hørt nogen sige, at man ikke er rigtig kineser/taiwanser hvis du ikke har spise Chou Dofu. Men ved I hvad, det har jeg det så helt fint med ikke at være!!!!

……………..min familie kommer til juli. Hah….det skal de da smage!!
Velbekommen!

Nu har jeg så fået denne blog. På tide at skrive lidt til hvem der end måtte læse med (og tak fordi du gør det, håber du bliver ved!).

For 11-12 år siden fik jeg en ny penneveninde, Joney. En sej pige, der sjovt nok havde fødselsdag på den samme dag som mig, som var fra Taiwan. Nysgerrig som jeg var, besøgte jeg hende efter to års korrespondance på hhv. hvidt kladdepapir (mit) og flot asiatisk og poetisk brevpapir (hendes). Det var rigtig spændende, nyt, anderledes og starten til hvor jeg nu er havnet. Nemlig i Taiwan. Der skulle gå tre rejser hertil og en lille smuttur til Kina, før jeg nedfældede hendes storebror, Alan, som jeg nu er gift og har en super dejlig dreng med. Surrealistisk.

Surrealistisk er også et ord, jeg flere gange har brug her om landet. For på trods af landets high-tech hurtigudvikling, så er der mange ting som stadig halter - f.eks skyller man stadig ikke toiletpapir ud i toilettet (hygiejnisk? Tjaa.. tjoo…njaaa….), de fleste toiletter er stadig “sidde-på-hug”, landet er overbefolket (23 millioner i et land, som kvadratmeter nogenlunde svarer til DK incl de små øer; sjælland og fyn), hver mand har bil eller scootere og de må have taget deres kørekort på fem min, da mere eller mindre ingen overholder reglerne. 

 Jeg kunne blive ved, og du kommer nok til at læse om flere besynderligheder, jeg oplever, det skal nok blive underholdende, men samtidig med alt dette “rod”, så besidder landet en uopdaget (især for rejsefolk) natur og skønhed, som jeg gang på gang på knibe mig i armen for at forstå findes. Det er ikke lige som Thailand med beaunty-strande og øer, men derimod frodigt flora, bjerge, jungle-lignende skove, rigt dyreliv og eftersigende et undervandsliv som dykkere ville elske (dette ved jeg intet om, da jeg ikke har dykket selv, så det er kun hvad jeg har hørt andre turister/udlændinge fortælle). Der findes en speciel kultur, gammel og ny blandet sammen (på godt og ondt), spændende nattemarkeder med alt fra A-Å, farverige templer i massevis, et nysgerrigt, formelt, men meget venligt folkefærd. Som turist er landet meget sikkert at rejse i, både som mand og kvinde - man skal dog altid være påpasselig med hvem og hvor man omgåes. Det er vel en slags “naturlov” som turist?

 Jeg er ved at lære at holde af stedet. Men det tager tid, og jeg er ikke helt sikker på at jeg nogensinde vil kunne elske det. For det ER og bliver meget anderledes end det, jeg er vant til. En stor udfordring for een, som elsker at holde fri og ”gemme” sig i weekenden på sin sofa i sin københavner lejlighed, bestille pizza og så stene tv. Som elsker at mødes med veninderne til en drink og se bylivet myldre. Som har haft tre RIGTIG gode arbejdssteder med kollegaer, som sparker røv og er altid plantet i hukommelsen og hjertet. Men hvor hun nu er havnet i land, der ikke forstår hende. Som ikke har speed-dial pizza. Som aldrig har noget tøj i den rette størrelse, fordi alle bruger str. ekstra ekstra mini! Som mere eller mindre kun har ris og nudler på menuen!?  - Dog har landet et SKO MECCA, som hun KUN kan elske og holde af

Jeg skal prøve at komme med nogle beskrivelser af hvad jeg indtil videre har oplevet, som jeg synes er værd at dele, bl.a vores vielse på kommunekontoret i Sindian sammen med 24 andre par, kinesisk nytår, Tomb sweaping, men for nu må I nøjes med ovenstående.

Tak fordi I læste med.

Tine